In the morning, you took cupcakes to school
Topped with pics of your lovely face
Smiling, holding up fingers
Of how old you are now.
In the afternoon soiled on the ground
Discarded by the parking lot
A picture of your lovely face
Smiling, holding up fingers
Of how old you are now
With scribbled devil horns and mustache.
I hid that pic inside my pocket
Next to my sinking heart
And wept a little knowing
The truth of being a human kid.
I remembered the girl
Inside of me
Who was called “Two Ton Titanic Tall Titties”
For being too tall and developed
For 4th grade.
I remembered the girl
With the beautiful name
That seemed foreign and funny
To my hillbilly ears
That name that I mocked aloud with my hillbilly friend
Until I could see in the blazing eyes on her sad face
That she was NOT out of ear shot.
She heard. She knew.
No apology could make her forget
That I was as ugly as everyone else.
What I hate most is knowing
That you will experience and perpetuate ugliness.
Will get punched and punch back.
Your hearts will be broken.
You will feel unwanted and disliked.
And you will feel the heat and shame
Of being mean, being wrong.
No attempt to wrap you in cotton and kisses
Will protect you from your own humanity.
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